A Hard Lesson I Learned

"Oh, I say and I say it again, you've been had. You've been took. You've been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Led astray. Run amok!"

I have a confession, I was duped.  Actually, I played myself.  I was in survival mode for so long that I took on the mind-state that my student loan was something I'd have forever, until I died. I mentioned before that I deferred this loan so many times that I lost count. I don't even really know how many years I have been actually paying on it. Well since I've been on this quest to financial independence I took a long hard look at my student loan. I can't even believe what I saw. I was so focused on getting the lowest monthly payment possible that I didn't even realize that my current payment doesn't even pay the monthly interest *insert crying Jordan face here*. WT EFF! I had chest pains, I know I'm working on my goal to achieve financial independence via the debt snowball but when it comes to money, your girl is slick OCD. I gotta change this quick. I have to (at least) get this principal down to an amount where my monthly payment covers all the interest and I have to do this before I get to it on my debt snowball list. My student loan is the last item on my list after I payoff these credit cards and my car note. I know, I know, Lani stick to the plan. But this right here, is bothering me.

OK, so now that I have had the chance to vent and get that out of my system I have to figure out my plan to work this into my budget. I paid off credit card number 3 in Novemeber. My goal is to payoff 4 credit cards before 2018. I have decided to keep this goal and significantly increase my March 2018 student loan payment. From my calculations I’m going to have to throw at least an extra $650 at it. This is just a minor setback, they happen.  

I was inspired by this post after listening to the youtube video posted below, in this video Joshua Sheats of Radical Personal Finance interviews Scott Alan Turner who achieved financial independence.  When Scott first started paying off his student loan debt he realized his $102 monthly payment was applying $100.00 to interest and $2.00 to the principal.  Initially I was laughing at him until I looked at my own student loan.  Then reality set in and I realized what happens when you just don't know or look closely at the details.  So this was a lesson learned and I hope someone learns from my mistakes.

Now I’ll admit I’m pretty frugal about a lot of things but I do have my splurges on some items too, like my car. For the most part I know I’m more of the exception than the rule. I couldn’t tell you how much someone’s purse cost, I don’t even carry one. I don't look at the brands of people's clothes, the people I work with are more concerned with what’s in my head than what designer brand I have on. I also don’t have a problem telling people no when it comes to anything involving me spending money. I just don’t have the obstacles of a lot of people, I’m well aware of that.  What about the holidays and gifts, and parties and invitations out?  Usually I say no.  My philosophy is, how can I give blood to the red cross when I have internal bleeding?  How can I give money towards someone else when I owe people money (debt)?  I'd like to think that I'm pretty practical and logical.  The fact is I know the more I throw at eliminating my debt, the faster I will be done with this goal.  Then I can set a monthly budgeted amount towards giving and gifting.  Until then, if someone doesn't understand and is offended then there is something wrong with that relationship.  A person shouldn't care more about what I can give them instead of my actual presence.  Anyone who loves me should want to see me do better and be in a better position.  If they don't understand, I honestly don't care.  I know that may sound cold or mean, but it's true.  Again, I just don't have the obstacles that most people do.  I march to the beat of my own drum.

What about living and having fun?  I don't understand this thought process, but everybody is different.  It seems to me that most people don't understand the concept of delayed gratification or setting a goal and focusing on it until you achieve it.  Again, this process reminds me of fasting.  I realize the time it will take me to accomplish my goal is only a short amount of time in comparison to my entire life.  But, once I accomplish this, my entire life will change.  I can delay any gratification for 3 years knowing I am putting myself in a greater position for the rest of my life.  I can do all the partying and playing after I achieve my goal.  But you have to know yourself.  I don't like debt or owing people money.  "Living" and having "fun" is not fun to me if it increases my debt or delays my goal.  Paying off debt gives me peace, I feel a sense of accomplishment, it makes me proud.  "Living" and having "fun" as most people define it makes me feel irresponsible and immature.  Like I said, I'm the exception, not the rule.  Do what gives you peace.